I know this friend request is only for the sake of stalking me. Okay, maybe stalk is a strong word. He is going to browse through all my new photos, scroll down my old wall posts, click on links to my friends who've said silly things like, "hey gurlfren, where you at?", and take mental note of the various guys tagged in my profile pictures, the second I hit "accept". The notification, "____ wants to be your friend" has been staring at me for three days. I hesitate to press ignore, because I will surely encounter a sarcastic response like, "oh, so we aren't friends? Well then have a great life!" However, accepting presents its own colorful array of consequences. So, for the moment I have resolved to just let it sit there until...
Are we friends? Were we friends? And how much have people's definition of friendship changed because of social networking sights like Facebook? 177 friends, definitely unrealistic. Adding one more seems insignificant then at this point. It might be time to reevaluate my friendships.
A-Z, it's impossible that more than 50 percent of these people know more about me than my name, birthday, and possibly my favorite kind of food, or how many pets I have, which is three. Even if more than 50 percent do know these trivial small talk facts, it is only because I have provided them with the information in my "about me" or "interests" section. And those over 50 percent of my 177 are what I like to call "facebook friends."
Facebook friends are those people you bumped into once in your high school's hallway and received a friend request from the next day because, oh look, there was your your face in their "people you may know" column. Facebook friends are the people you've shaken hands with at a party who know a friend of a friend, or those classmates you've never spoken one word to, but just know your name. Facebook friends are those whose glamorous lives you want to stalk or those who want to stalk yours. Facebook friends are face value friends. Most do not know anything beyond our surface level pictures, wall posts, and status updates. We are all our own glorified celebrities, tracking each other's every action and thought, or at least the ones we make public. Facebook is the TMZ of everyday people. We are not friends, we are followers, paparazzi, and fans.
Are you sure you wish to delete ____ from your friends list? Yes. Are you sure you wish to delete ____ from your friends list? Hell, yes. One after the other, after the other, til I am down to the last page. With each name, asking myself, "Do I consider this person my friend? Have they ever been there for me after a rough day? Do they know my secrets, my passions, my struggles? Do they want to know?" With each deletion there is a slight twinge of guilt and then a sense of release as I weed out my friends from the followers.
Then, there is the request, plastered to my screen. I attempt to apply the same series of questions in making my decision. My mouse instinctively moves over to the word "ignore" and then, it vanishes. No more fans, followers, or paparazzi, just friends from here on.
5 comments:
Sometimes i wonder if the definition of a friend has changed over the last 10 years. I like to think i have many friends but when I stop and define what a true friend is my idea changes. A true friend to me is someone who If my car broke down and I were to call them at three o' clock in the morning they would answer and come pick me up. A true friend is someone that I can have an actual conversation with, a conversation that encompasses more than just a "hey whats up" a conversation that gets down to emotions and beliefs.
I liked your blog because I too worry that everything we do in our modern society is being judged. That everything is about popularity and publicity and that the true value in life is being lost.
I like your blog but i think no matter how many friends u add on facebook, it doesnt really matter in the end because nobody really considers them as real friends(Atleast i don't). And thats just the way how it is with social networking sites u just have a bunch of people on ur friend list that u dont even know coz if it were me it wouldnt matter as i wont give any of my personal information on facebook in the first place.
still its a valid point weeding out friends sounds good to me.
Arianna! This is the start of your columnist/memoir writing career! This post is so well-written and so enjoyable to read!
This is one of the reasons why I avoid social networking sites. All of these "friendships" don't really have any meaning. "Friend" could mean anything from a close childhood friend, so just a somebody whom you only know their name.
I like this post and well done too if you don't really know this person its fine to click on the ignore button that is what i do with people i dont know. I like facebook because i can keep in touch with my friends in Mexico and in several other places i have lived but i try not to post too much on it just to avoid other problems.
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